Therapeutic approaches for ADHD, ADD

Dr. Ursula Davatz advocates for a unique and comprehensive approach to supporting individuals with neurodiversity, particularly ADHS/ADS, emphasizing a shift from a traditional medical model of „disease“ to a neurodiversity perspective. She asserts that conditions like ADHS/ADS and Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASS), including hypersensitivity, are not fixed diseases but rather functional diagnoses of the brain that can change over time.

Here’s a breakdown of the therapeutic approaches discussed:

1. Coaching the Environment, Not the Child/Individual: The cornerstone of Dr. Davatz’s approach is to coach the adults in the child’s environment, such as parents and teachers, rather than directly treating the child or teenager.

  • Rationale: Adults are most consistently present in the child’s life, and it’s often the environment that needs correction, not the neurodivergent individual. This approach aims to prevent psychiatric and somatic illnesses that can arise from overly restrictive upbringing.
  • Key Strategies for Adults:
    • Clear and Personal Boundaries: Teachers and parents must have a clear stance and communicate rules based on their own conviction („I want it this way in my classroom“) rather than using „you must“ commands. These rules should be „gold-backed“ with their emotional attitude.
    • Patience and Delayed Compliance: Recognize that ADHS/ADS children often comply with a delay; rushing them („immediately!“) is ineffective.
    • Managing „High Arousal“ States: When a child is over-excited or overwhelmed (System Overload/Overflow), reasoning is futile. The priority is to let them cool down before discussing the situation. Adults must remain calmer than the child, expressing their own strong emotions „into the air“ rather than at the child.
    • Validation of Emotions: After a child has calmed down, it’s crucial to ask what upset them, what they felt was wrong, and validate their emotions („Okay, I understand“) before discussing alternative actions for the future. This focuses on understanding the underlying reason for behavior rather than immediate correction.
    • No Punishment or External Rewards: Dr. Davatz states that punishment does not work for ADHS/ADS children. Similarly, she discourages external rewards like money for good grades or „smilies,“ emphasizing that the true reward lies in a good relationship with the child and the inherent joy of learning.
    • Reinterpreting Behaviors: Behaviors like „teasing“ or „clowning“ should be reinterpreted not as malicious acts but as social exploration or approach behaviors, often used by ADHS/ADS individuals when uncertain about a situation.
    • Fostering Intrinsic Motivation: It’s vital for neurodivergent individuals to find their intrinsic motivation and „own focus“. Parents should not remove activities a child enjoys (e.g., football) as punishment for school performance, as this demotivates them further.
    • Supportive Educational Environment: The school should provide a protected environment where the child feels safe and can develop self-confidence and self-assurance. Public shaming for academic struggles or disruptive behavior is strongly condemned as it harms self-esteem and personality development. Instead, social learning and cooperation are prioritized over mere intelligence.
    • Personalized Rules and Problem-Solving: Rules should be stated clearly at the outset for the whole class, but also enforced personally. When problems arise between children, the focus should be on solving the problem together, involving the ADHS/ADS child in the solution, as they are often empathetic and helpful.

2. Specific Interventions for Learning Difficulties: For academic challenges like dyslexia or dyscalculia (which often co-occur with ADHS/ADS):

  • Individualized Support: Dr. Davatz advocates for one-on-one accompaniment and suggests utilizing learning therapists or tutors. She emphasizes that in subjects like mathematics, missing even one step can lead to a complete disconnect, making individual guidance essential.
  • Motivational Approach: Encourage children by highlighting the „double pride“ gained from mastering something they found difficult.
  • Adapting Teaching Methods: For languages like French, which are rich in rules, ADHS/ADS children might struggle. It’s suggested they learn through melody and speaking to engage their strengths.

3. Addressing Avoidance and Absenteeism: When a child avoids school or is frequently absent:

  • Investigate the Root Cause: Go home and try to understand why the child is avoiding school. Is it a social issue, academic difficulty, or fear of disappointing the teacher?.
  • Paradoxical Prescription: For severe resistance, especially with teenagers, a „paradoxical prescription“ from systemic therapy can be considered: instead of forcing attendance, tell the child to stay home and provide tasks, allowing them to return to school when they are ready, fostering intrinsic motivation.
  • Maintaining Connection: Even if the child stays home, maintain contact and require them to complete and submit assignments, perhaps even from a public place like a library or café.

4. Stance on Medication (Methylphenidate): While Dr. Davatz is a physician and prescribes medication, her approach is cautious:

  • Not a First Resort: She does not prescribe Methylphenidate (a stimulant) as the primary or first solution.
  • Mechanism: She explains that stimulants increase stress in the brain, which helps with focus.
  • Potential Downsides: She notes that early use of Ritalin can suppress creative abilities. Concentrating with ADHS/ADS requires more energy than for a „normotype“.
  • Weighing Benefits: While it may improve grades, she emphasizes that social and creative learning are also crucial. The decision to medicate rests with the parents. Medication might offer relief from social stress in some cases.

5. Family Therapy and Intergenerational Patterns: Dr. Davatz, as a family therapist, stresses the importance of understanding family dynamics, especially for individuals with Borderline personality disorder (which she sees as stemming from ADHS/ADS women raised too restrictively).

  • Exploring Family History: She asks about the parents‘ and even grandparents‘ upbringing, their school experiences, and their own parents‘ methods and values. This helps understand current interaction patterns and provide support.
  • Breaking Cycles: Understanding how one was raised is key to breaking intergenerational patterns in parenting.
  • Empowering Parents: The goal is to support the parents, not confront them about their „wrong“ behaviors.

6. Rejecting „Pathologizing“ Labels: Dr. Davatz actively challenges the medical system’s tendency to create numerous diagnoses or label neurodivergent conditions as „diseases“ or „disabilities“.

  • „Neurodiversity“ over „Disability“: She strongly prefers the term „neurodiversity,“ viewing these traits as different ways of functioning with both „handicaps“ and „pluses“ (e.g., creativity, enhanced perception).
  • Against Excessive Diagnostics: She finds extensive diagnostic clarification unnecessary and costly, as „it always comes back to the same brain“.
  • Challenging PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance): She rejects working by the PDA principle, stating it would foster pathology. Instead, one should use their „healthy sensitivity“ and build a relationship with the child.

In essence, Dr. Davatz’s therapeutic approach is profoundly humanistic and systemic, prioritizing understanding, strong relationships, intrinsic motivation, and adapting the environment to suit the neurodivergent individual rather than forcing the individual to conform to an unsuitable environment.

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ADHD/ADD Neurodiversity Perspective

Dr. Ursula Davatz advocates for a neurodiversity perspective when discussing conditions like ADHS/ADS, Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASS), and hypersensitivity. She emphasizes that these are not fixed diseases but rather functional diagnoses of the brain, which can change over time.

Here’s a deeper look into the neurodiversity perspective based on the sources:

  • ADHS/ADS as a Neurotype, Not a Disease: Dr. Davatz explicitly states that ADHS/ADS is „no disease“ but rather a „vulnerable, sensible neurotype“. She categorizes ASS (Autism Spectrum Disorder) and hypersensitivity under ADHS, viewing them as different facets of the same underlying neurotype rather than creating new, separate illnesses. She highlights that the brain functions holistically and is interconnected with the body, directing its organs. Every brain functions differently; there is no „normotype“.
  • Vulnerability and Sensitivity to Stress: A key aspect of this neurotype is a stronger, more reactive, and sensitive emotional brain (limbic system). This means individuals with ADHS/ADS are more susceptible to stress and require more energy for concentration. When exposed to stress, their emotional brain experiences a larger and longer-lasting „wave“ of excitement, potentially leading to a „System Overload“ or „Overflow“ where the cerebrum loses control and primitive reflexes (fight, flight, freeze, teasing) take over.
  • „Broad Attention“ vs. „Focused Attention“: Children with ADHS/ADS naturally possess a „broad attention,“ immediately perceiving everything in a room, including emotions. While this can be advantageous for noticing and learning new things, it becomes a „disorder“ in traditional school settings that demand focused attention.
  • Reinterpreting Behaviors: From a neurodiversity perspective, certain behaviors, like „teasing“ or „clowning“ in class, are not necessarily malicious or simply disruptive. Teasing, for example, is described as a social exploration behavior or an approach behavior, particularly used by ADHS/ADS individuals and young animals when they are unsure of a situation. Dr. Davatz suggests reinterpreting such actions, understanding them as an attempt to explore or connect rather than a deliberate act of badness.
  • „Plus“ and „Minus“ Aspects: Dr. Davatz views every predisposition as having both a „handicap“ and a „plus“. The creativity of ADHS/ADS individuals is highlighted as a positive side. Their sensitivity also brings advantages in noticing, perceiving, and learning new things. Notable figures like Elon Musk (Autist), Richard Branson (flew out of all schools), and Mozart (ADHS/ADSler) are cited as examples of highly successful neurodivergent individuals, emphasizing their giftedness rather than disability.
  • Implications for Education and Raising Children: This perspective fundamentally shifts the approach to intervention:
    • Avoiding Over-Regulation: Raising ADHS/ADS individuals „too restrictively“ or on a „short leash“ can lead to mental and somatic illnesses. Punishment does not work.
    • Coaching the Environment, Not Just the Child: Dr. Davatz strongly advocates for coaching the adults in the child’s environment (parents, teachers) on how to interact more skillfully with neurodivergent children, rather than primarily treating the child or teenager directly. The goal is to correct the environment, not the child.
    • Fostering Intrinsic Motivation and „Own Focus“: It is crucial for ADHS/ADS children to find their intrinsic motivation and their own focus. Parents should not remove activities the child enjoys (e.g., football) as punishment for school performance, as this can be demotivating.
    • Empathy and Validation: When a child with ADHS/ADS is in a „high arousal“ state (over-excited), reasoning is ineffective. Instead, allow them to cool down, then validate their emotions before discussing alternative actions. This focuses on understanding the underlying reason for their behavior.
    • Personalized Rules and Boundaries: Rules should be clearly stated upfront, communicated personally with conviction (e.g., „I want it this way in my classroom“ instead of „you must“). There should be fewer rules, and teachers should maintain a calm demeanor. Patience is key, as ADHS/ADS children often comply with a delay.
    • Rejecting Harmful Practices: Public shaming for academic struggles or disruptive behavior is strongly condemned as it damages self-esteem and personality development. Using terms like „disability“ or „handicap“ is seen as an outdated medical definition; „neurodiversity“ is the preferred and more empowering term.
    • School as a Protected Environment: The school should provide a protected environment where the child feels safe and can develop self-confidence and self-assurance, rather than being a place that immediately exposes them to the „roughness“ of the outside world. Social learning and cooperation are prioritized over mere intelligence.

In essence, the neurodiversity perspective, as articulated by Dr. Davatz, encourages a shift from viewing ADHS/ADS as a deficit to be fixed, towards understanding it as a unique way of processing the world that requires a supportive and adaptable environment for individuals to thrive and develop their inherent strengths.

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Education of a child with ADHD/ADD

Dr. Ursula Davatz emphasizes a holistic and functional view of brain function in the context of psychiatric conditions, including ADHS/ADS, rather than seeing them as fixed diseases. She considers ADHS/ADS, Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASS), and hypersensitivity as facets of a „vulnerable, sensible neurotype“ that is more susceptible to stress and can develop various illnesses as a result. This perspective significantly shapes her approach to child education.

Here’s a comprehensive discussion on child education for children with ADHS/ADS, drawing from the provided sources:

Core Understanding of ADHS/ADS and its Educational Impact

Dr. Davatz views ADHS/ADS as a neurodiversity or an „otherness“ rather than solely a „disability“. She asserts that the brain functions holistically and is interconnected with the body, directing bodily organs. For individuals with ADHS/ADS, the emotional brain (limbic system) is stronger, more reactive, and more sensitive. It functions somewhat like fluid media, where „waves“ of excitement are larger and last longer. This means ADHS/ADS children are more sensitive to stress and require more energy for concentration. Their emotional system remains more strongly connected to the cerebrum (Grosshirn), leading them to process more impressions and become tired.

ADHS/ADS children often have a „broad attention“ where they immediately perceive everything in a room, including emotions. While this can be an advantage for noticing and learning new things, it becomes a „disorder“ in a school setting where focused attention is required.

Challenges in Traditional Education and Common Difficulties

In a traditional school environment, ADHS/ADS children often struggle because they are expected to focus narrowly, which contradicts their natural broad attention. When they are not interested, they may become disruptive, act as a „class clown,“ or disturb classmates, creating a „competition“ with the teacher.

Specific academic areas can be particularly challenging:

  • Mathematics: Requires following every step; missing one step means losing the connection, making it hard for ADHS/ADS children who may miss steps due to attention shifts.
  • Languages (e.g., French): French has many rules, which can be difficult for ADHS/ADS children who are generally worse at learning rules. Dr. Davatz suggests teaching such languages through melody and speaking to get into the „flow“.
  • Dyslexia and Dyscalculia: These learning difficulties are frequently inherited together with ADHS/ADS.

ADHS/ADS children may react to stress or difficulty by becoming aggressive outwardly (more common in boys) or by overthinking and processing internally (more common in girls). This internal processing can lead to psychosomatic illnesses, such as stomach aches in younger children who cannot articulate their feelings.

Key Educational and Therapeutic Approaches

Dr. Davatz’s philosophy for educating children with ADHS/ADS revolves around understanding their unique neurotype and adapting the environment and interactions, rather than directly treating the child for a „disease.“

  1. Avoiding Over-Regulation: Raising ADHS/ADS individuals „too restrictively“ or on a „short leash“ can lead to mental and somatic illnesses. This includes punishing them, which does not work for ADHS/ADS children.
  2. Patience and Validation in High Arousal States: When a child with ADHS/ADS is „over-excited“ (high arousal) or experiencing „System Overload/Overflow,“ reasoning with them is ineffective because the cerebrum loses control and the reptilian brain takes over. Instead, allow them to cool down („let the soup cool down“). Afterward, validate their emotions by asking what hurt or upset them before discussing alternative actions.
  3. Coaching the Environment, Not Just the Child: Dr. Davatz strongly advocates for coaching the adults in the child’s environment (parents, teachers) on how to interact more skillfully with neurodivergent children, rather than primarily treating the child or teenager directly. This is particularly crucial during the teenage years, where 50% of psychiatric illnesses begin.
  4. Promoting Intrinsic Motivation and „Own Focus“: It is crucial for ADHS/ADS children to find their intrinsic motivation and their own focus. Parents should not take away activities the child enjoys (e.g., football) as a punishment for school performance, as this can further demotivate them. Allowing children to pursue hobbies they love builds self-esteem and provides a positive outlet.
  5. Setting and Enforcing Rules:
    • Rules should be clearly stated upfront to the entire class, not only when they are broken.
    • It is better to have fewer rules (e.g., five rather than twenty).
    • Rules must be communicated personally and with clear conviction („I want it this way in my classroom“) rather than as demands („you must“). ADHS/ADS children are sensitive to direct commands.
    • Allow for some delay in compliance, as ADHS/ADS children often process and comply with a delay.
    • Teachers should maintain a calm and clear demeanor, even if internally emotional, as their state influences the child.
  6. Addressing Academic Difficulties (e.g., Math, Reading):
    • Avoid public shaming for academic struggles or disruptive behavior (like being a „clown“). This damages self-esteem and personality development.
    • Individualized support: One-on-one accompaniment, learning therapy, or working with a coach (e.g., for math) is highly beneficial, as it allows for personalized steps and prevents the child from falling behind.
    • Motivation through challenge: Encourage children by highlighting that overcoming a difficult task (like math) brings greater satisfaction and pride.
  7. Teacher’s Role and School Environment:
    • Teachers need a clear stance and know what they want. Ambivalence creates openings for ADHS/ADS children to exploit.
    • The school should be a protected environment where the child feels safe and can develop self-confidence and self-assurance. This contrasts with the „roughness“ of the outside world.
    • Prioritize the child over bureaucracy: Teachers should use their freedom and not rigidly follow regulations if it benefits the child’s development.
    • Social learning and empathy: Emphasize social behavior and respect, which is more important than intelligence for success. ADHS/ADS children are inherently empathetic and helpful.
    • Problem-solving: Involve ADHS/ADS children in problem-solving, as it taps into their intrinsic motivation and desire to help.
  8. Medication (Methylphenidate): Dr. Davatz acknowledges that Methylphenidate (Ritalin) and similar stimulants can help the brain focus more, potentially improving grades. However, she does not see it as the first solution and warns that early use might suppress creative abilities. She believes that problematic behaviors are often feedback that „something is not quite right“ and prefers to address the environment first.
  9. Addressing Absenteeism/Avoidance: For children who avoid school, it’s crucial to understand the underlying reason (e.g., academic difficulty, social issues, teacher interaction). In some cases, a „paradoxical prescription“ from systemic therapy, such as allowing the child to stay home with tasks and come to school only when intrinsically motivated, might be considered, though it needs careful consideration and communication with parents. Maintaining connection through homework and finding alternative study environments (e.g., library) is important.
  10. Working with Parents, Including Borderline Mothers: When working with parents, especially those with Borderline traits, Dr. Davatz suggests asking about their own childhood and upbringing, and their relationship with their mothers. This helps understand their deficits and provides a basis for empathetic support rather than direct criticism of their parenting, which they are highly sensitive to. The goal is to provide indirect support for the parents so they can better support their children.

Overall, the sources emphasize that effective child education for ADHS/ADS involves a patient, empathetic, and flexible approach that prioritizes the child’s well-being and intrinsic motivation, fostering a supportive environment that allows them to thrive despite their neurodivergence.

https://adhs.expert/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/ADHS-Schule-fuer-Maedchen-28.5.2025.m4a.pdf

ADHD/ADD Brain

Dr. Ursula Davatz views psychiatric conditions not as fixed diseases like a liver cirrhosis or a heart attack, but rather as functional diagnoses of the brain. This means the brain’s functioning can change, and there isn’t a clear boundary between one „disease“ and another. She emphasizes that the brain always functions holistically and is interconnected with the body, also directing bodily organs.

Dr. Davatz utilizes Paul D. MacLean’s „Triune Brain“ model to explain brain function. This model divides the brain into three main parts:

  • The emotional brain (limbic system): Represented by the thumb in her hand model, this part is stronger, more reactive, and more sensitive in individuals with ADHS/ADS. It functions somewhat like fluid media (air and water), where movements or „waves“ of excitement can be larger and last longer.
  • The cerebrum (Grosshirn): Represented by the fingers, this is where signals from the emotional brain are ideally processed cognitively and stored as memories without emotions. In ADHS/ADS children, the emotional system remains more strongly connected to the cerebrum, meaning they have to process more impressions, which can make them tired.
  • The reptilian brain (primitive brain): Represented by the wrist, this ancient part of the brain controls vegetative nerve centers such as heart rhythm, breathing, sleep-wake cycles, and motor skills, including the cerebellum.

In individuals with ADHS/ADS, when the emotional brain (limbic system) becomes overloaded, it sends signals both up to the cerebrum and down to the reptilian brain.

  • System Overload / System Overflow: If the emotional brain is under too much stress, it can lead to „System Overload“ and subsequently „System Overflow“. When „System Overflow“ occurs, it can result in thought disturbances. Alternatively, signals can go to the reptilian brain, triggering primitive reflexes like running around, screaming, or the „fight, flight, freeze, or teasing“ responses.
  • Impact of Stress: Due to their highly excitable and reactive emotional systems, individuals with ADHS/ADS are more sensitive to stress. When stressed, their emotional brain creates a larger and longer-lasting „wave“ of excitement.

This heightened excitability means that ADHS/ADS brains require more energy for concentration compared to neurotypical brains. While the brain typically matures by age 25, in individuals with ADHS/ADS, this process may take a bit longer, allowing them to remain „childish“ and creative. However, this sensitivity also means they are more susceptible to illness if raised too restrictively. Over-regulation or attempts to educate them when they are in a state of „high arousal“ (over-excited) are ineffective because the cerebrum loses control, and the reptilian brain takes over with its reflexes. Instead, it’s crucial to allow them to calm down before engaging in rational discussion and to validate their emotions.

Dr. Davatz highlights that the reactions seen in ADHS/ADS individuals are essentially feedback that something is not quite right. This understanding of brain function is central to her approach, which focuses on coaching the environment and caregivers to interact more skillfully with neurodivergent individuals rather than primarily treating the child or teenager directly. She also emphasizes that viewing ADHS/ADS as a „neurodiversity“ or „otherness“ rather than solely a „disability“ acknowledges its potential strengths, such as creativity.

https://adhs.expert/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/ADHS-Schule-fuer-Maedchen-28.5.2025.m4a.pdf

ADHD/ADD in Women

Dr. Ursula Davatz, who has been working with ADHS/ADS for over 40 years, discusses ADHS/ADS as a „vulnerable, sensible neurotype“ rather than a fixed disease, emphasizing that psychiatric conditions are functional diagnoses of the brain that can change. She also includes Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASS) and hypersensitivity under the umbrella of ADHS/ADS. This neurodiversity means individuals are more susceptible to stress and can develop various illnesses as a result.

Here are key aspects of ADHS/ADS in women as discussed in the sources:

Differences in Symptom Presentation and Coping Mechanisms

  • Hiding Symptoms and Adaptation: Women with ADHS/ADS tend to suffer more from the symptomatology than men. This is because women can better hide their symptoms and adapt more effectively. Girls, in particular, exert immense effort to conform, which can make their struggles unnoticeable.
  • Multitasking Ability: Women are often better at multitasking, a skill that is frequently required in daily life, such as for a housewife or in a school environment.
  • Internal Processing: While boys with ADHS/ADS often react with outward aggression when stressed, girls and women tend to react internally. They begin to overthink, process all situations very carefully, and may tell their stories meticulously, sometimes to the point of losing the listener.
  • Self-Exploitation: This constant adaptation can lead women to „exploit themselves,“ leaving them drained and with nothing left.

Diagnosis and Life Impact

  • Delayed Diagnosis: The diagnosis of ADHS/ADS in girls and women is often significantly delayed. It is frequently made only between 35 and 45 years of age, or even later, at 70 or 80 years.
  • „Aha“ Moments: Many women come to realize they have ADHS/ADS symptoms through information found in newspapers or on platforms like TikTok, leading to an „aha“ moment where they understand their own reactions and behaviors. The proportion of women being diagnosed is increasing.
  • Reduced Life Expectancy: Studies from England and America indicate that women with ADHS/ADS die ten years earlier than average, whereas men with ADHS/ADS die seven years earlier. This shorter lifespan in women might be linked to them never finding their own „focus“ or being helped to find it.
  • Comorbidity: A significant majority (80%) of individuals diagnosed with ADHS/ADS in adulthood have one or more additional psychiatric diagnoses, which Dr. Davatz considers follow-up illnesses.

Psychiatric and Somatic Consequences

  • Depression: Women with ADHS/ADS are more prone to depression, experiencing twice as many depressions in old age as men.
  • Psychosomatic Illnesses: Women tend to develop psychosomatic illnesses, frequently involving the musculoskeletal system. These can include back pain, generalized tension, joint pain, headaches, exhaustion, and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Dr. Davatz noted many women with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome after COVID.
  • Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): Women are more likely to develop Borderline Personality Disorder, which Dr. Davatz describes as a result of ADHS/ADS individuals being raised too restrictively and always adapting. When they reach puberty and hormonal surges, they „break all boundaries“ and become „wild“. If their environment cannot cope with them, they feel abandoned and may engage in attention-seeking behaviors, effectively becoming „professionally pubertating“. They seek guidance and accompaniment.

Brain Function and Sensitivity

  • Emotional Brain: Individuals with ADHS/ADS have a stronger, more reactive, and more sensitive emotional brain (limbic system). This emotional brain, likened to fluid media like air and water, experiences greater and longer-lasting „waves“ of excitement.
  • System Overload/Overflow: When the emotional brain is overloaded, it sends signals that can lead to a „System Overload“ and then „System Overflow“. This can result in thought disturbances, or signals going to the primitive (reptilian) brain, causing primitive reflexes like running around or screaming.
  • Connection with Grosshirn: The emotional system in ADHS/ADS children remains more strongly connected to the cerebrum (Grosshirn), meaning they have to process more impressions, which makes them tired.
  • Stress Susceptibility: Due to their highly excitable and reactive emotional systems, individuals with ADHS/ADS are more sensitive to stress.

Educational and Therapeutic Approaches

  • Avoiding Over-Regulation: Raising ADHS/ADS individuals too restrictively or on a „short leash“ can lead to mental and somatic illnesses.
  • Patience and Validation: When ADHS/ADS individuals are in a „high arousal“ (over-excited) state, it is ineffective to try to educate them with reason. Instead, allow them to cool down, then validate their emotions by asking what hurt them or upset them before discussing alternative actions. This allows them to process the experience and integrate it.
  • Coaching the Environment: Dr. Davatz advocates for coaching the adults and the environment (parents, teachers) rather than directly treating the child or teenager with ADHS/ADS. This approach focuses on teaching caregivers how to interact more skillfully with neurodivergent individuals.
  • Understanding Borderline Mothers: When working with Borderline mothers, Dr. Davatz suggests asking about their own childhood and upbringing, and their relationship with their own mothers. This helps understand their deficits and allows for a more supportive approach, rather than direct criticism of their parenting, which they are very sensitive to.
  • Intrinsic Motivation: It is crucial for ADHS/ADS individuals to find their intrinsic motivation and their own focus. Parents should not take away activities children enjoy (e.g., football for a child struggling in school), as this can demotivate them further in other areas. Allowing children to pursue hobbies they love builds self-esteem.
  • Neurodiversity Perspective: It is beneficial to view ADHS/ADS as a neurodiversity, an „otherness,“ rather than solely a „disability“. This perspective acknowledges the strengths, such as creativity, that come with this neurotype. Prominent figures like Elon Musk (Autist) and Richard Branson (likely ADHS/ADS) exemplify how neurodivergence can be associated with significant achievements.

https://adhs.expert/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/ADHS-Schule-fuer-Maedchen-28.5.2025.m4a.pdf

Persönliches Empowerment bei ADHS

Bei Mädchen gelingt der erzieherische Kraftakt zur Anpassung an die gesellschaftlichen Normen meist etwas besser als bei Knaben. Sie können sich von der weiblichen Natur her problemlos an soziale Umstände anpassen. Seitens der Gesellschaft wird Anpassung von ihnen auch vermehrt verlangt und belohnt. Gut bekommt ihnen diese forcierte soziale Harmonisierung dennoch nicht. Sie werden geradezu gezwungen, gegen ihr Naturell, quasi «contre coeur», vorzugehen. Das Resultat dieser Einschränkung ihres Bewegungsfreiraums für eine gesunde Entfaltung ihres Temperaments ist, dass sie im Erwachsenenleben in eine Depression fallen, sich eine Borderline Persönlichkeitsstörung, Essstörungen und Suchtprobleme zulegen, oder mit einer bipolaren Störung und einer schizophrenen Psychose ganz aus den gesellschaftlichen Normen ausbrechen, sich sogenannte «Narrenfreiheit» verschaffen, in der sie dann weder erziehbar noch erreichbar sind.

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