Schlagwort: Partner

• Frequency in families with schizophrenia: The sources emphasize that partner conflicts are significantly more common in families with schizophrenia than in comparison groups. This is often associated with a tendency to escalate.
• Inherited patterns: Conflict patterns can be transferred from the families of origin to the partnership.
• Emotional dynamics: The arguments are often emotionally charged, with both sides trying to make themselves heard at the same time without really listening.
• Unresolved conflicts: Conflicts often go unresolved and repeat themselves as both partners hold on to their opinions and hope for empathy.
• Hasty interpretation: People with ADHD tend to hastily interpret statements, leading to misunderstandings.
• Authoritarian conflict resolution: In patriarchal structures, conflicts are often suppressed by authority, but this is not always effective.
• Conflict avoidance: In families with schizophrenia, conflicts are often avoided or denied, leading to pseudo-unity.

Triggers and causes of partner conflicts

• Unfulfilled needs: Unfulfilled needs for affection and support from childhood can manifest themselves in the partnership.
  • This can lead to deep-seated anger and resentment towards the partner.
• Lack of self-fulfilment: If a partner is unable to fulfil themselves in the relationship, this can lead to frustration and conflict.
  • Women in particular often develop anger issues when their autonomy is restricted.
• Role patterns: Traditional role patterns, in which one partner takes on the role of “provider” and the other that of “care recipient”, can lead to conflict.
• Dependency: One partner may remain dependent on the other in the relationship and try to compensate for unmet needs from childhood, which can lead to conflict.
• Jealousy and mistrust: Jealousy can arise from feelings of insecurity and inadequacy.

Specific conflict patterns

• Tug-of-war: Constant pulling back and forth in the partnership, often triggered by different views on parenting or one person’s need to control the other.
• Competition of needs: A fight over who deserves more support, with needs being projected from childhood into the partnership.
• Distancing: A partner can withdraw from conflict situations, thus making the situation worse.
• Overinvolvement: Mothers can be overinvolved and weaken the father in his role.

Impact on children

• Triangulation: Children are drawn into conflicts between partners and made into a “substitute partner”.
  • This leads to disturbed emotional development.
• Divided loyalty: Children experience a loyalty conflict when their parents argue.
  • This conflict can also persist after a divorce.
• Feelings of guilt: Children may develop feelings of guilt when they try to reconcile their parents.
• Behavioral problems: Children may show behavioral problems as a result of their parents‘ conflicts.
• Mental illness: Conflicts between parents contribute to the development of schizophrenia in their children.

Conflict resolution and prevention

• Calm down before solving the conflict: Conflicts should not be solved in the heat of the moment.
  • Both partners should calm down before trying to solve the conflict.
• Change of perspective: Both partners should try to understand the other’s perspective.
  • It is important to listen to the other person and understand their motivation.
• Equal exchange: Conflicts should be seen as an exchange between equals, not as a power struggle.
• Controlling your own emotions: Especially for parents of children with ADHD, it is important to keep your own emotions under control.
• Systemic therapy: Systemic therapy can help to understand the causes of conflicts and develop new behavior patterns.
• Reflection on the family of origin: reflecting on one’s own family history can help to recognize recurring patterns.
• Open communication: open and direct communication is important to avoid misunderstandings.

Special aspects of ADHD

• Increased willingness to conflict: partners with ADHD tend to have rapid escalations and impulsive reactions.
• Difficulty listening: People with ADHD have difficulty listening and not interpreting statements prematurely.

In summary, it can be said that relationship conflicts in families with schizophrenia represent a complex interplay of individual, relationship-specific and systemic factors. The causes often lie in unfulfilled needs, unresolved conflicts from childhood and dysfunctional communication patterns. To successfully overcome them, a systemic view is needed, as well as reflecting on one’s own family history, open communication and the willingness to embrace new behavioral patterns.